By Justin Cheng
So who becomes the next Laker coach that will fill the hearts of the purple & gold diehard after Mike Brown gets chopped? I faced a similar dilemma as I reached puberty. I was no longer satisfied at fantasizing about my peers, the five-year void left by Melissa Faust was almost unbearable at this point. I needed someone more mature and could run my triangle offense. For the Lakers, GM Mitch Kupchak believed that person to be Mike D'Antoni, formerly of the Phoenix Suns and New York Knicks. As for myself, Kari O'Connor appeared to be that light at the end of the tunnel.
Fast forward to the end of my sixth grade year & June 5, 2013. I am peeved beyond belief at my yearning for Ms. O'Connor to be the resident TILF of my dreams, just as the Laker front office should be kicking themselves for choosing a run-and-gun coach for a team whose best players could not get off the trainer's table last year.
Sure, the allure of having another teacher crush was tempting. But at what cost? Given numerous detentions for using mild expletives and other trivial offenses, I was left in a daze of confusion. While the sweet and gentle spirit of my kindergarten crush still loomed, but this sixth grade disciplinarian was not her.
For the Lakers, disappointment came in the form of a first-round sweep to the San Antonio Spurs. The allure of potentially scoring over 100+ points with an all-star lineup was much too appealing. Kupchak, Buss and company should've known that their cast wasn't even remotely the same as MVP Nash, Amar'e with healthy knees, Matrix Marion, and in-shape Diaw.
Lesson learned.
Me -- Don't trust blondes not named Kate Upton.
Lakers -- Don't trust white-haired coaches not named Phil Jackson.
Check out the rest of the NBA Life at Sloat Blvd. & 19th Avenue series.
Myself: Justin Cheng as The Birdman
Kindergarten: Melissa Faust as Kwame Brown
First Grade: Ruth Stressow as Jerry Sloan
Second Grade: Irene Jew as Cliff Paul
Third Grade: Edith Kvale as Gregg Popovich
Fourth Grade: Pamela Keiser as Don Nelson
Fifth Grade: Elaine Mills as Scott Skiles
Coming soon: Fred Jacob as Rasheed Wallace
The Bayless Babbles, along with being a sports blog, is a warning to never trust blondes and is authored by UC Merced as USC alumni Justin Cheng.
Email: baylessbabbles@gmail.com
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