Happy Trails BWilly

Don't Despair Over Brian Wilson
by Justin Cheng

The bearded one is not going to be a San Francisco Giant.  

This is a statement that will get some taking getting used to, with Brian Wilson signing a one-year deal with the team-that-will-not-be-named-on-this-blog-for-personal-indifference. The iconic reliever reportedly passed on an opportunity to rejoin his old team, who, themselves, passed on an opportunity to keep him for a $8.5 million fee.

Should we bring out our Wilson jerseys and burn them along with the Cleveland Lebron jerseys and post Twitter rants, crucifying our former closer?

The simple answer is no. 

While Wilson has not pitched in the major leagues since April 12, 2012, Giants and in-denial Texas Rangers fans must remember that he was on the mound when capturing our first championship since moving to San Francisco in 1958. He gave his arm, endangering the longevity of his own career, for us to live in memories that would last a lifetime. For that, we, as a fanbase, are in debt of his efforts.

Having said that, Wilson is an attention-freak, who is willing to do anything bizarre thing to gain the spotlight. It started off with the neon orange All-Star game spikes, which turned into a chin forest, penguin suit, sailor outfit, and $10,000 sneakers. These exploits made him a household name, one that baseball had embraced as one of the most marketable faces in all of sports.

Even then, Wilson never seemed to fit in with the culture of the Giants, an organization that headlines solemn superstars like Buster Posey, Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, and Madison Bumgarner. Wilson seemed intent on being the star of the show and class clown, a role that manager Bruce Bochy backed by stating, "He (Wilson) is good for baseball."

Eccentric figures, especially in baseball, have often been condemned for their celebratory mantras, whether it's Hanley Ramirez making four eyes or Nyger Morgan doing anything Nyger Morgan would do. 

In his case, Wilson was never hated by his opponents, and his former teammates seem to adore him, but his actions charaded a me-first attitude, rather than team-first. When he was at his best, he was the premier closer in all of baseball, but at his worst, he was erratic and was the poster child of the Giants' brand of torture. With questions regarding his ability to perform like before and in consideration of the Giants' mounting struggles this season, Wilson's self-promoting antics would not have been tolerated for long and would eventually gone to another team.

So here's to you, Brian Wilson. We hope that you find happiness with the team-that-will-not-be-named-on-this-blog-for-personal-indifference, but we are the reigning WORLD CHAMPIONS. We have our own bearded closer, and we will move on.

--UPDATE--

Thank you to the fans in San Francisco. It was an honor to pitch in front of you for all those years....
— Brian Wilson (@BrianWilson38) July 30, 2013

Even though I'll be wearing a different color your impact in my life will never be forgotten.
— Brian Wilson (@BrianWilson38) July 30, 2013

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For EVERYTHING about The Bayless Babbles, check out our blog page (HERE!)

The New Face of Torture

Giant Questions for 2013 and Beyond
by Justin Cheng 

Torture in 2010 looked a lot different than its current state. Following a three-game sweep at the hands of the Chicago Cubs, the feel-good memories of the 2012 playoffs and World Series are more than long gone. The world champions do not remotely look close to the team that swept the Detroit Tigers and face three huge questions for this season and beyond.


1)  Why are the Giants losing?

In the past three years, the Giants have masked their ineptitude on offense by playing stellar defense. In comparison, the 2013 Giants are 23rd in runs scored in all of baseball, and to boot, have made the most errors of any team in the National League. The Giants have had signature wins in each of their past three seasons and have had enormous amounts of momentum going into the stretch run. Brandon Belt's Bill Buckner impersonation on Friday night was just a summarization of how the Giants have been playing all year; earlier in the year when the Giants were scoring in bunches, the starting pitching did not play up to par, and now when the pitching has seen a glimmer of improvement, errors have absolutely destroyed any hope of putting together a series of wins.

2) What is up with the starting rotation?

The rise and fall of the Giants has been tied to their starting pitching. Aside from Madison Bumgarner and Chad Gaudin, the starting pitching has yet to find its groove and has not had a consistent bullpen to match. Coming off his first season in $127 million contract, staff ace, Matt Cain, has strung some good outings but will have the occasional six-run smashing, including a 0.2 inning performance against the Mets. Coming into this season, the Giants knew what to expect from Lincecum and Zito, but with Cain struggling and Vogelsong out since May, the Giants rotation has yet to fully recover, and they have a record that shows for it.

--Opinion--
The Giants' best Triple A arms, Mike Kickham and Eric Surkamp, have been blasted in their starts, and don't look ready to be reliable major league players. The Giants may have to look externally for some pitching help if they are going to salvage this season.    

3) Will Hunter Pence and Tim Lincecum be traded?

The Giants are in dire need of starting pitching with Zito, Lincecum, Gaudin, and Vogelsong ($6.5 million team option for 2014) not being under contract for next year. Pence and Lincecum both will become free agents and the end of the season, and their names have been thrown out in trade rumors for the better half of the last month. GM Brian Sabean has denied his willingness to trade either of these players, but these two are the biggest trade chips to potentially re-up for next season.

--Opinion--
Pence is the ultimate optimist and has said that he wants to stay with the club. It is not often that you find guys that can hit 20+ home runs with 100 RBIs, especially for the Giants. The farm system has not produced a good position player since Buster Posey and Pablo Sandoval. I say that the Giants take a chance on his impending free-agency, banking that he stays true to his word. For goodness sake, he played on the Astros for four seasons. If anybody can stay with them for more than a week, I am going to bet my house that they are undyingly loyal.

Lincecum, on the other hand, may not have the same trade market value, seeing as he has struggled on his command for the past two seasons. However, there should be some teams that will fall in love with his résumé and attempt to convert him into a reliever. The Freak, albeit a very intricate part of the team, has not appeared to be able to live up to the expectations that he set for himself earlier in his career. If the Giants are able to get a big name prospect in return for Lincecum, it may be time to turn the page.

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For EVERYTHING about The Bayless Babbles, check out our blog page (HERE!)

You're a Big Fat Phony

Why Ryan Braun is the Worst Person in the History of MLB
By Justin Cheng

MLB's swift-handed damnation of Milwaukee Brewers star Ryan Braun came down faster than a Zeus lightning bolt. The 2011 National League MVP was handed a 65-game suspension without pay for his link to the South Florida anti-aging clinic Biogenesis. The suspension effectively ends his 2013 campaign and leaves many others -- most notably Alex Rodriguez -- awaiting their own punishment.

But what makes Ryan Braun such a villain? Is he the man that Holden Caulfield claims him to be?

To provide some context to this situation, the infamous Mitchell Report was released in 2007, shaming the game's most decorated stars of the 80's and 90's. Careers destined for Cooperstown glory were dragged through the mud with questions about their legitimacy. From pitchers like Roger Clemens and Andy Petite to sluggers Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield, and Rafael Palmeiro, all of their reputations were irreversibly broken like my cell phone's cracked screen.

The message was sent: Just Say No! 

Even if Nancy Reagan didn't take a loudspeaker to Braun's face herself with this excruciatingly repetitive message, ESPN did nothing but talk about it. CNN made it a big deal. For God's sake, I'm sure Perez Hilton probably could have an elongated discussion about it with Carson Daly on 97.1. 

The minimum rookie salary in 2007 (when Braun debuted with the Brewers) was $380,000, certainly providing him with ample opportunity to see the stars fall from the sky. That type of money should at least afford you a television and an antenna. 

-- Shit in 2007, I was 18 and most concerned when Staci the Bartender would next show up on The Hills. At least, I knew what was legal in baseball. Take that, Ryan. -- 

Baseball has always been a numbers game. Roger Maris' 61 single-season home runs, Hank Aaron's 755 career home runs, Pete Rose's 4,256 career hits,  Cy Young's 511 career wins. These are all milestone achievements that these individuals are inextricably associated with. A player's statistics defines his accomplishments and serves as a platform, helping young kids learn whether to laminate or thrust a player card into a pile of nobodies. 

That type of glorified baseball seems prehistoric. With BALCO and Biogenesis having taken over the duties of the clubhouse trainer, it is impossible to gauge the legitimacy of current numbers. When Chris Davis and Miguel Cabrera have 30+ home runs and 90+ RBIs by the All-Star break or even Buster Posey showing off his muscular physique in Men's Health magazine, we can't help but think all but one thing -- STEROIDS. 

Whether or not these premature conclusions are justified, that's just the nature today's game. We, as fans, have been fooled before and do not want to be duped again. Even with 50-game and 100-game suspensions, players continue to take these performance-enhancing drugs, mindlessly outweighting the benefits to costs.

This is when Pinocchio -- excuse me, Ryan Braun -- turns into the evil villain. Taking steroids itself is not the crime but insulting fan intelligence in the process is unforgivable. 

Months after winning the 2011 National League MVP award, the former two-time All American tested positive for elevated levels of testosterone, and faced a 50-game suspension. With a collective rolling of eyes, some called him to be stripped of the MVP. Braun's response? He appealed on a technicality and WON.

"If I had done this intentionally or unintentionally, I'd be the first one to step up and say, 'I did it.' By no means am i perfect, but if I've ever made any mistakes in my life I've taken responsibility for it. I truly believe in my heart, and I would be my life, that this substance never entered my body...I've always stood up for what is right. Today is about everybody who's been wrongly accused, and everybody who's ever had to stand up for what is actually right" -- February 24, 2012

Please, Pinocchio. You weren't fooling anybody. Testosterone doesn't increase to insanely high levels just because your piss was put in a Rubbermaid container AND to vehemently deny it too?! 

Braun might have gotten a quiet pass in 2011, but when the Biogenesis report came out, I am not sure who was legitimately surprised his name was linked to PEDs. Well, the verdict is out now. It became clearer than Casper the Friendly Ghost that Braun is compulsive liar, a narcissist, and hellbent for self-preservation. 

All in all, Braun is still going to continue to play baseball, whether it be in Milwaukee or somewhere else. At the very least, Braun should be stripped of his 2011 MVP title. Braun is still going to make $113 million over the next seven years at the cost of his reputation and $4.5 million of Aaron Rodgers' money. This is home of the free and land of the brave, after all. 

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For EVERYTHING about The Bayless Babbles, check out our blog page (HERE!)

The Disney Squad: All-First Team

How to Defeat Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad
By Justin Cheng

It took five midget aliens taking a crash course in professional basketball to muster a lackluster attempt to defeat Michael Jordan and the Tune Squad. While the additions of Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley were admirable, it was more than obvious for the two aliens who stole Muggsy Bogues and Shawn Bradley's "ability" didn't do their due diligence in research. When selecting players who never averaged more than 11.2 points per game and spent their careers getting more facials than Sasha Grey, your team is bound for failure.    

Let's be honest. The Tune Squad -- other than Michael Jordan -- was nothing but a mosh pit of nobodies that the Charlotte Bobcats/Cats/Hornets could even scoff at. As player/coach, MJ's management skills were foreshadowed by surrounding himself with a starting lineup of Taz, Lola Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Bugs Bunny.
  
To my bemusement, Taz had a starting position, and minutes before tipoff, (rather than looking ready for basketball) he looks like The Governor finally let him loose to attack Rick and the rest of the prison crew.

Another questionable starter was the famous Bugs Bunny. Steriod use has yet to be a huge issue in the NBA, but performance-enhancing drugs are specifically banned through the collective-bargaining agreement. This call to start an obvious Biogenesis client should have been more than enough to disqualify the Tune Squad. Bugs, next time, don't be so obvious about it (Richard Sherman).


Meanwhile, the Monstars lost a terribly officiated game when Michael Jordan jumps over the orange Monstar's rear end and takes a three-point dunk attempt to the hole. This one action took 35.47 seconds in the movie to complete when there were only five seconds left on the clock. Blown calls and official timing aside, the Monstars would have been better off robbing Disney characters' talents to match up to the Tune Squad. This is how I would have imagined it.


Head Coach - Phineas Flynn (Phineas & Ferb)

Run n' gun style offenses have been said to be able to win games, and Phineas Flynn seems to have that same type of mentality. Phineas' intuitive imagination always has something to do for a seemingly endless summer break, making him the ideal candidate for what I would want an exciting basketball team to do. The deal between the Monstars and the Tune Squad was to win ONE game, not have a full season or a series. Therefore, Phineas Flynn would be the obvious choice for head coach of my Disney Squad. 

Point Guard - Wendy Wu (Homecoming Warrior)

What attribute does every great point have? NO, I didn't pick Wendy Wu because she's Asian, so we can get that out of the way. Take a look at that precision on that lipstick throw! I am confident that lipstick throwing can easily translate into basketball passing. If Wendy's shooting can catch up with her passing, she could easily be a Steve Nash or Jose Calderon-type player.






Shooting Guard -- Air Bud (Air Bud, Golden Receiver, World Pup, Seventh Inning Fetch, Spikes Back)

Jesus Shuttlesworth, Reggie Miller, Stephen Curry, Air Bud(?). Every team needs an assassin shooter, and Air Bud is just what this team needs. As an all-around athlete, Air Bud has a deadly spot-up jumpshot. With Wendy Wu as a backcourt partner, Air Bud is bound to get plenty of open shots. Nobody is going to foul a puppy, that is, unless you name rhymes with Cycle Dick. 








Small Forward -- Flubber
One of the qualities of a Hall-of-Fame player is that he makes his teammates better. Flubber will play the role that Lebron James holds with the Miami Heat. Flubber has the ability to make players jump higher and dribble faster (Click here to see). This is the type of role that needs to be filled at the small forward spot. If Bugs Bunny is going to drink his steroid-infused Michael Jordan juice, it is only fair to even the score by spraying sneakers with Flubber.

Power Forward -- Lotso (Toy Story 3)

Laker's fans are all too familiar with the "soft play" of Pau Gasol. Well, there is nothing soft about Lotso, and he fills this power forward position perfectly. After being abandoned by Daisy, Lotso controlled Sunnyside and will also control the painted area. Nobody screws with Lotso, and no soft play will be tolerated.

Center -- Ralph (Wreck-It Ralph)

Imagine going into the the paint with Wreck-It Ralph standing in the middle. Dwight Howard and Superman may fly from buildings, but Wreck-It Ralph destroys them. No way MJ takes a half-court dunk attempt if Ralph is ready to bash his face in; therefore Ralph is my center.











Do you think my Disney team would outplay the Monstars and the Tune Squad?

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For EVERYTHING about The Bayless Babbles, check out our blog page (HERE!)

Pablo Poundoval

Is the Giants' Third Baseman to Blame?
By Justin Cheng

Giants fans have long adorned this jovial figure, who has amazed us with his cannon arm and ability to hit any pitch within the area code. Panda hats are a must-have at AT&T Park, all thanks to the Kung Fu Panda. His three homeruns during Game 1 of the World Series were a historic and marvelous sight.

But what happens when these memories fade and we clearly see him for who he is?

A rough two-week stretch has the reigning champions in last place, and everyone outside of Buster Posey and Madison Bumgarner has been less than stellar. While Sandoval isn't the only one who has been struggling, it's time to revoke the courteous pass that he has been allotted. 

The Kung Fu Panda has been more Panda than martial artist and is batting a forgetful .128 in his last ten games, with two RBIs in the last 19 contests. The routine groundball out has turned into a magnificent event and the free-swinging has turned into swinging at balls five feet in front of home plate.

This is when I feel like jamming some Lean Pockets in Pablo's face. I don't think I've ever seen a professional athlete with such disregard for his body. He might not be out destroying his liver on the eve of the Eastern Conference Semifinals with Rihanna -- yeah, I'm looking at you, J.R. Smith -- or snorting white lines like Dwight Gooden. What he does seem to get the idea that his body is the vessel for his career, much like a surgeon requires steady hands or a sniper requires good eyesight. 

For me, it's tiresome watching a talented athlete that lacks so the drive to perform better. His four seasons with the Giants have had glimpses of his elite-level talent, but never has he cracked into that discussion due to the mass of injuries that he has accumulated in the past two seasons.     

It's undeniable that Pablo is one of the game's best hitters when he is right, but it's time for him to treat his body as a temple rather than preparing for winter hibernation. Giants fans also need to wake up from the illusion that our "star" third-baseman has such a status and is currently average at best at the current pace. If he doesn't get this right quickly, Willy Wonka -- or in this case, Brian Sabean -- will soon call his oompa loompas to roll him back to Fresno.

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For EVERYTHING about The Bayless Babbles, check out our blog page (HERE!)

Thank you Everybody for your Support!

Shoutout to my boy Aki Chambers, the 2013 California Pacific Conference Player of the year, who is currently overseas playing for the Hamamatsu Higashimikawa (say that ten times fast without stuttering) Phoenix, for supporting my blog. He is humble and one of the hardest workers I have ever met. He single-handedly put UC Merced athletics on the map, and I greatly appreciate his support! #CaptainBobcat #TheFranchise #PhoenixKing

As for everyone who has read the blog, I am in debt of your continual support, whether it be liking the Facebook articles, following on Twitter, or liking my bombardment of Instagram pictures on this blog. My wish is for this blog will take on a life of its own, and expand to people outside of my closest friend circles.

In the meantime, for those who have not heard, I have recently started a launch page, which you can access by clicking on this link (http://thebaylessbabbles.wix.com/bayless-babbles). This site consolidates everything about the blog, and you will be able to read the articles, keep up with our Twitter feed, and comment on the articles as you wish. 

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

Email: baylessbabbles@gmail.com

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INDWICISION

The Dwightmare Timeline
by Justin Cheng

Even with USA Today first reporting that Dwight Howard has officially chosen to join the Houston Rockets, we are sure that the Dwightmare has finally ended. Or has it? (pause) No, wait has it really? 

This is the type of up-and-down uncertainty that we have been left with since Howard's departure from Orlando, and has since become one of the most controversial figures in the NBA today. While Lebron's popularity took a huge hit after the 75-minute special on his decision, Dwight has drawn out his indecision over the past couple years with far greater immaturity. But for those who haven't been keeping up with this real-life nightmare, here is a quick SparkNotes version of what has been going on.

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For more about the author and the blog (Click Here)

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No Kobayashi, No Problem

By Justin Cheng

Watch and learn, young Colin Kaepernick. Bay Area native Joey "Jaws" Chestnut has established himself as Nathan's 4th of July hot dog-eating contest powerhouse. Winning his seventh straight competition today, Chestnut downed 69 -- no, this is not a typo -- hot dogs in ten minutes. This annual competition was again without its original icon, Takeru Kobayashi, for the fourth straight year, leaving the San Jose State alumnus to be untested (his closest competitor only finished 51).

Image via ESPN

It has not been an easy road for Chestnut, as competitive eating is a sport that requires more dedication that one may anticipate. The mental taxation alone of jamming 69 (again, this is not a typo) wieners in one's mouth would be enough to break a lesser man. If Kaepernick is to dethrone Chestnut as the Bay Area's crowned athlete, let's hope that he has the same will-power to plow through the any obstacle (or plate) put in his way.


Tale of the Tape

Name: Joey Chestnut (age 29)

Height: 6'0" (1.8 meters)

Weight: 218 lbs. 

Hometown: Vallejo, CA

College: San Jose State University

Accomplishments: 
Ranked as International Federation of Competitive Eating's #1 eater 
Seven-time champion of Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest
Ate 45 pulled pork sandwiches in 10 minutes
Ate 53 soft beef tacos from Taco Bell in 10 minutes

Name: Colin Kaepernick (age 25)

Height: 6'5" (1.96 meters)

Weight: 230 lbs.

Hometown: Turlock, CA

College: Nevada University

Accomplishments:
Rated #81 in Top NFL players of 2013
First Division-I quarterback to have 10,000 yards passing and 4,000 yards rushing
Took the San Francisco 49ers to Super Bowl in first year as NFL starter
Packs an 87 mph fastball
Has lots of tattoos

Joey Chestnut with the hot dog record. 69! Sorry @Kaepernick7, but @joeyjaws might be the Bay Area's greatest athlete
— Niners Nation (@NinersNation) July 4, 2013

The Bayless Babbles is a sports blog is co-authored by UC Merced/ USC alumnus Justin Cheng and UC San Diego alumnus Brent Lee.

For more about the author and the blog (Click Here)

Email: baylessbabbles@gmail.com

Follow The Bayless Babbles on Twitter (@BaylessBabbles)

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