NBA Life at Sloat Blvd. & 19th Avenue: Third Grade

Edith Kvale as Gregg Popovich
By Justin Cheng

By this point in my life, my life goals were shattered (See Second Grade), and I was confronted with the idea of having to learn something in school rather than fantasizing about a blonde-haired Kwame Brown (See Kindergarten). Edith Kvale had the unfortunate responsibility of bringing me back down to earth, a task which she tried to fill as the Norwegian Gregg Popvich. Our third-grade United States project provided as much excitement as the prospect of watching the San Antonio Spurs for the fourth time in 10 years. Let's face it, you can't screw up this assignment, the United States is the best country in the world (See Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest). But yes, Ms. Kvale, yes you did. While Gregg uses yawn-worthy half-court offense, Ms. Kvale assigned a yawn-worthy state, Colorado, USA. To eight year-old Justin Cheng, Colorado was nothing but Antonio McDyess and JonBenét Ramsey. I guess you can't say that Popovich has incorporated the most exciting brand of basketball, but you can't deny its effectiveness as the Spurs have won 11 division titles, four conference titles and are on the brink of a fifth championship. Similarly, Ms. Kvale's assignment branded two pieces of information that I will never forget: 1) Lark Bunting is the state bird 2) the state flag has a C. I have yet to find myself having to ever use such pertinent information, just as I will never consciously tune my television to watch a Spurs game. Popovich and Ms. Kvale sure have a knack for ruining basketball and academics. 




Check out the rest of the NBA Life & Sloat Blvd. & 19th Avenue

Myself: Justin Cheng as The Birdman
Kindergarten: Melissa Faust as Kwame Brown
First Grade: Ruth Stressow as Jerry Sloan
Second Grade: Irene Jew as Cliff Paul
Coming Soon: Pamela Keiser as Don Nelson


The Bayless Babbles, along with being a sports blog, is a confession of resentment for Colorado and half-court offenses and is authored by UC Merced and USC alumni Justin Cheng.

For more about the author and the blog (Click Here)

Email: baylessbabbles@gmail.com

Follow The Bayless Babbles on Twitter (@BaylessBabbles)

Like & Share the articles on Facebook!